I never intended to write a blog about being single, however I felt compelled to write this piece today. I have spent all my life single as I turn 26 today. I want to share the positives and negatives when dealing with loneliness. Over the years my friends have told me I am being too picky and I will end up alone. Nevertheless, I still have hope that one day I will find my person.
1. Dating myself brought me value in how to see life in new a meaning:
In my life I have experienced many enjoyable moments being single, such as traveling and making memories with other single friends, as well as solo travel. It’s great to be able to party in New York without the fear of being judged by a partner. By putting my happiness first, I was able to remove myself from bad situations whenever I didn’t feel comfortable. I will never forget the lessons I learned from being single. I learned to value my time and memories. I choose to find happiness within myself instead of looking for it in a person.
2. Never rely on anyone to build your happiness:
Throughout my years of dating I realized I can’t rely on a guy to build my happiness. I have to be able to do that on my own. In my past dating experience I always put the guy in my life first and that’s where I went wrong. Never rely on a guy to make you happy. Find happiness within yourself. Every time I put a guy first he would walk out of my life as if it was nothing. Henceforth, I know my worth now and that I deserve more. Now I don’t pursue anyone who doesn’t meet those standards. Everyone deserves to have standards in life. A major lesson I learned is to always put yourself first, never put yourself second. Everyone deserves to be happy.
3. Know my worth:
I have gotten so comfortable being alone that I barely go on dates anymore. The reason behind that is I know my worth. When you spend so much time alone you learn to appreciate the little things. When I feel alone I will call a friend or hang out with family. I am extremely fortunate to have very close friends who are there for me when I need them.
4. It’s okay to cry:
I have been exposed to a myriad of delightful moments in my alone time. Nonetheless, I have also experienced my darkest hours on my own. I have cried in my apartment, during my solo trip in Italy, and had an emotional breakdown in the middle of the street while traveling alone in London . Loneliness has taught me to love myself even when I am going through these unpleasant moments. Instead of keeping it all inside I find crying to be beneficial. Sometimes one may feel they have no one in their life just themselves and it’s okay to feel like this. Someday I hope to find my person. I admit I’m not always happy. It can get lonely sometimes. I have the best memories with friends, however I think it is healthy to spend time alone sometimes.
5. How to heal from my own loneliness:
I learned that time heals and life is about balance. It is important to spend time with your loved ones if you are feeling alone. At the same time it is also healthy to spend time alone. Some days nobody can fill the loneliness I felt. If you are feeling the same way just know it will get better. Loneliness only lasts for a short period of time.
Yanibel, Sending you love from Atlanta! I turned 50 years old in January and I got engaged 2 weeks ago. God will put you in the path of someone who desires and seeks what you both need and are in line with spirituality, emotionally, financially, etc.
You are right to date yourself and stay in prayer.
God bless you!
Sent from my iPhone
congrats by the way that’s amazing and I am hoping one day god send me the right person!
You are beautiful inside and out! Someone will see that and appreciate you for the woman you are.
God bless you my sister!
Thank you so much!
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